Plenty of people have asked why I don't monetize DateSpots.NYC. The site gets decent traffic. Why not make money from it? I get the question. It's a fair one.
Can you put a price on love? We do, in practice. Dating apps charge for matches and boosts and seeing who liked you. People in divorce courts put a number on what a marriage was worth. So we already put a price on it. But if I charge people just for looking at places they want to visit to have a nice date, what kind of man does that make me? They're already doing the hard part: showing up, being nervous, hoping it goes well. I don't want to add a toll at the door.
My parents taught me that whoever asks the other out pays. It's that plain and simple. So if I, as a man, have to keep the conversation flowing on some app, keep it interesting so the other person stays engaged, then ask them out, then plan the date, and then pay for the date, the weight of it adds up. Every step has pressure. I'd rather run a half marathon than sit with that level of anxiety. Because it almost feels forced. You're not just trying to get to know someone. You're performing. And then you're paying. I get why a lot of people are tired before they even leave the house.
That's the problem I feel today: love feels forced. The whole dance is heavy. Swiping, messaging, planning, paying, hoping it works. I'm okay with not making money on this site, probably now or in the near future. But if this project helps two people come a little closer with a bit less effort in the world we live in, the upkeep and the work behind the site are worth it. One less thing to figure out. One less barrier. That's enough for me.
Yes, I could run AdSense. I could charge restaurants to drive people to them. I could put certain pages behind a pay wall. I'm familiar with all of it. I've helped others build it. But not me. I don't want to make money out of people's already miserable and lonely lives. Dating is hard. Being alone is hard. The last thing I want is to turn a free list of places into another thing that costs. It's already brutal out there.